I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
