im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
