he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My dick has a subreddit
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
