went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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