This girl is more easily done than said...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
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At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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