Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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