My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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