You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
