very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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