Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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