Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize