True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
