Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
