I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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