She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
