so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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