so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize