after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
