I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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