its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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