i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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