Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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