Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
