He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
