he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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