i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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