Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
