Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
