Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You left your phone here
Wait...
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