i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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