we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
