return my video game
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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