Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
