We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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