Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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