I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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