I want to make a zoo with you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
