get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
