I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
