I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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