Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
