hell yes lets make some ravioli
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
