I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize