I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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