I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize