Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
