If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
