can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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