This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
