was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
