is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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