I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
