here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
