dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
