And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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