A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Rumble strips road head = magical
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize