halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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