that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
