Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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