Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
